A Few More of My Pet Peeves

So as usual, my mouth has seemed to have offended others and I am being ignored because of it. Little does it seem to matter that I was offended first and was just expressing my feelings about being offended. God forbid someone stands up and voices their opinions back... "feel free to be offended but dont you dare express your opinion back"... that is exactly what is going on here...

First let me state that I do believe everyone has a right to express themselves in regards to their thoughts and feelings, but one must do so in a way that does not come off hateful or targeting any one person or group. Making comments in regards to general behaviors of any one group is condoning hate, stereotyping and discrimination and that I will never tolerate. However, if someone tells me they are a "G.W. Bush" lover (for example purposes only..lol), I might disagree with why such feelings exist in the first place (lol), but I ultimately agree that is your opinion. I can have an adult debate with out spreading hate, stereotyping Bush lovers and discrimination... I just wish more adults could.

So with all that out of the way, let me just vent over a debate that I got offended by and then offended others. I have a "friend" who was expressing her frustration over not being able to get enough state aid to attend college next semester due to the fact she is making to much for her family of three even with her husband getting laid off in Aug. She was told to not do any over time at work, or to cut her hours, or have more children (since currently it is just her and her husband and the one child) if she wanted to qualify for such assistance. She was appalled that such a thing was even suggested.  However, I am sure it was not the workers intent to encourage such behaviors but her way of explaining how my "friend" doesn't qualify and what type of people do. Basically the message the worker was sending was that when there is a household of two adult capable of working and only one child they wont need assistance according to the governments standards of true poverty. Does it suck to work so hard and still not have a way to fund for the things you need, yes, however there are guidelines for a reason.

I have seen and felt the "catch 22" guidelines in place by our government myself, and know how hard it is to need extra help but not receive it. As a single mom, when I was working full time and making $15.00 an hr (at the same place my "friend" is currently employed at) and raising two kids on my own I know what it like trying to stretch my income to cover rent, car payments, insurance payments, daycare cost, co-pays, lights, heating fuel, food, etc. I did not have alot of extra money (if any extra at all) after I took care of my monthly bills, and there were many months where I was forced to try and make $100.00 a month cover my grocery needs, all because @ 15.00 an hour for a family of three (1 adult and 2 children) I did not qualify for any assistance. Did it suck yes, did I make it through it, yes....did I put down those who did qualify for the assistance I wish I could get to improve my life...no.

Anyways my "friend" had many people comment on her page in support of her frustration and many of them were just general non hateful support, however, there was one friend of hers who decided that anyone who was entitle to and receiving assistance were "jobless whores who are milking the system for assistance" (exact quote)... well as a person who has been affected by the crash of the economy and is currently receiving Food Stamps (only FS) to ensure my children can eat while I continue to go to college full time, working on earning two degrees, I took offense to this generalization of people who receive assistance.

Yes I know there are some people who play the system (and I did admit to that), however it truly bothers me when people take a few bad apples and then make generalizations and hateful comments towards a whole group of people. So I voiced this opinion and pointed out how some of these people she is grouping together in her hateful and offensive statement were like me. (Also, HELLO, your friend wants assistance but doesn't qualify and is complaining she should, so what does that make her??? Do I see my "friend" who is frustrated over being denied help as  a "jobless whores who are milking the system for assistance"..no, but apparently her other friend feels anyone who gets assistance is. Nice friend right..lol )

OK so after voicing my opinion on this girls comment to my friend, this girl who does not know anything about me other than what I posted (single mom, full time college student) decides to flip out on me for disagreeing with her grouping of a class of people together.  She decided to try to judge me even more and act like a high school-er and try to make personal attacks towards me. Does my "friend" defend me..nope ... does she ask her other friend to stop the drama... nope ... but that is OK because I am a big girl with a big mouth and I dont back down when I am passionate about hate and discrimination.

So I did feel bad that I started WWIII on my "friends" page. She posted on her FB page she was sorry her basic status about frustration lead to her offending others. So in an email to her, I let her know that she by no means was the offensive party, and that I have felt her frustration in my life before. Then again I apologized for being so sensitive to her friends comments, but explained how everyday I am faced with such closed mind comments by strangers towards me and others who get assistance. I wish people would learn to not pass judgement on a person whose shoes they have not walked in.

Now I am not saying that my views on this subject, or the fact that I took offense in it is 100% the correct view here. I am just expressing what went down and the thoughts that went through my head at the time. This all went down 12 days ago, and my "friend" has yet to respond to my email. She allowed her friend to continue to belittle me and left it there for all her other friends to see (that I was your typical jobless whore milking the government for assistance). Should I not be offended that someone I considered a "friend" could just ignore the fact that she had a friend personally attack me and she did nothing to intervene (not that I needed her to, but dont friends discourage other friends from offending, or belittling their other friends?) and the fact that I reached out to her and she hasn't responded back after 12 days.

I guess my ideas of what true friendship is not the same as others, or it just boils down to the fact she never saw me as a true friend ... and that is OK too, but she didn't have to act so fake about it if that is the case. I respect those who are honest enough to admit I annoy them, that I am only an acquaintance, or that they hate me all together, more than I respect those who act like we have a meaningful relationship when in fact we dont. Jesus we are adults and not in high school anymore. Its OK not to like someone on the same level just be honest about it.

So my issues are fake friends and those who act as if we are still in the age of the "Salem Witch Trials", and that it is OK to make generalizations on one group of people because they are different and a few bad apples bad behaviors. Closed minded stereotyping is a big pet peeve of mine.

Life of a Mom

As a mother we never stop to pay attention to the hints our bodies try to give us, we are always too concerned with our children, their needs and wants.  We forget that we need to take care of ourselves. The past week I have had to slow down and remember that I need to set some time aside for me and my health. 

Last Thursday started out like any other Thursday. I had classes at the college campus, the boys had Karate, we had a house that needed some cleaning and then out of the blue I started to feel very dizzy and faint.  However since it was in the evening I thought maybe I was just over tired or that my blood sugar dropped a little too low, so I had a glass of juice and went to bed. 

Friday I woke up and felt fine and never thought twice about the night before. So I just went about my normal Friday routine - shopping, cleaning, homework, entertaining the kids, etc. By the time dinner was done I started to feel very tired, and very light headed, so I decided to slow things down and cuddle on the couch with my boys to watch movies on Netflix.  That's whenever started to get worse. The slightest head movement sent my world spinning. I couldn't stand up without falling right back down. Every time I tried to walk down the hallway I would start to lean to m right and almost fall. Again thinking it was a blood sugar thing I decided to have a glass of juice, and yet again this made no difference. However I pushed my symptoms aside for the night until I got my boys to bed.

Once they were in bed I started to gain some concern when the symptoms weren't letting up but getting worse. Now it didn't matter if I was standing, sitting, moving my head or not, my world was nonstop spinning. This when I started to think about my weight. I am currently 324 lbs. I had lost 26 lbs over the last 4 or 5 months, however because I get swept up in my school work and caring for the boys, I have once again strayed from my focus of dieting and becoming active. So I became nervous that just maybe the lightheadedness was due to lack of blood flow to my brain (meaning blood clot or blockage somewhere). Now being the big girl that I am, this is a realistic thought and fear.

On Saturday I headed to Urgent Care to see what was wrong with me, and in hopes that my neglect and abuse of my body wasn't going to leave my children motherless. What I found out from the Doctor is that I have Labyrinthitis (an ear disorder that involves irritation and swelling of the inner ear)... basically it’s an ear infection due to my allergies, and it is causing my dizziness/lightheadedness. I need to take some Antihistamines, reduce my smoking, and keep still and rest when symptoms occur, avoid sudden position changes, etc, etc. The doctor said that my symptoms can last up to a month; however they will lessen with each passing day. This is very true; some days are better than others, however it is getting much better. So I am super excited I am not dying, however I see this as that reminder that I do need to keep my health as a priority.  

I am focusing on ensuring we keep eating healthier. Got lots of salad stuff and veggies to munch on, bought some low calorie yogurts and puddings for snacks, and stocked up on some chicken since that is a healthier choice of meat. I still haven't been able to get back into exercising yet, since I still have some lightheadedness, however I am hoping by this weekend I can start again. Meanwhile since I can’t workout I have decided to focus on some house cleaning. Again, can’t do too much since bending over still makes my world spin, however I can do a little at a time, and the boys have been helping me out (the best that a 9 and 10 year old can ..lol)

Now on top of all of this happening, Brendan got sent home from school with pink eye yesterday. I had some drops in the house, however as me and him were sitting here I could hear some wheezing and started to gain some concern. Like me, Brendan has horrible allergies and has been suffering even with taking some Antihistamines. I took him to see his doctor, and yes he had pink eye, along with an upper respiratory infection. The upper respiratory infection they said was caused from taking the Antihistamines for his allergies. They were suppressing the nasal congestion so much that it settled in his chest. So we got some eye drops for his pink eye, an antibiotic for the upper respiratory infection, and some albuterol inhaler to help with the wheezing.  Well the antibiotic made Brendan have diarrhea which prevented him from being able to partake in his Karate class. Then when got home from our running around (getting prescriptions filled, grocery shopping, Joshua's Karate class, etc) Brendan vomited. The antibiotics don't agree with his stomach :(  So Brendan had a rough night of sleep and feels worse today than he did when sent home from school yesterday.  My little man had to stay home from school today. 

Between me and Brendan getting issues from our allergies, Joshua has stepped up to take care of us and the house. Can I tell you how super proud I am of my little 9 year old man. Joshua has assisted me in making dinners, getting laundry done, taking out the garbage, putting groceries away and picking up the living room floor.  He hasn't complained once since he knows everyone else doesn't feel well. I feel so blessed to have such wonderful children, and this is why I need to ensure I take care of myself so that I can be there for them. So mom's let take time out for our selves to focus on our health needs ... we owe it to our families!!!    

Where has the time gone

I haven't sat down and written anything in months. I have been so busy with school and just trying to keep my sanity. I guess I have been doing a good job, I mean after all I and my children are still alive..lol.

So much has been going on these past few months. I passed my Fall semester with a GPA of 3.75 and an overall GPA of 3.24. This spring semester has been harder though. I am failing big time when it comes to my Biology class, but I am hanging in there..ugh, I hate this class. My Abnormal Psychology class is a little better I might pull a B. I did my first oral presentation ever today in my Adulthood and Aging class and got a 90 on it and found out I got an overall average of an A in that class for this semester. My last class Special Topics in substance abuse and treatment I should have an A in that when we are done. So as you can see school has kept me extremely busy. I have 3 class left this week, one next week, and then one final exam the week after that and then I am done with my spring semester. Then only 3 more semesters until I graduate, Can’t Wait!!!

Along with school I have been trying to be mommy of the year and do everything my kids need me to do. Attend school functions, help with their homework, get them to Karate classes, etc. I also have been trying to stay above water financially.  I had to save to purchase a new hot water heater, but finally I got it and this past Sunday I got it installed. Feels great to have hot water again..lol

My Aunt who I love dearly has been extremely ill, but is finally on the mend. There was a time there where we didn't know if she was going to make it. Then my BFF had the gastric bypass surgery and starting getting ill because she wasn't following her after-care instructions, and she had me worried there for a while. However, I think that finally we are over that hump.

Through all these up and downs,  I managed to start exercising and have lost 22 lbs. I am enjoying playing on my Wii, and doing the Wii Fit Plus, Just Dance 2, The Michael Jackson Experience, and Zumba games. My children bring out the competitive side of me, and we can spend hours upon hours playing these interactive games. And let me tell you, these games make you sweat, and are a true workout..lol. Now if I could just quit smoking, keep eating healthy and avoid those midnight snack cravings I might just be able to stay on track for once.

I am hoping once this semester is over in a few weeks, and I start my summer vacation, I will be able to spend more time writing, and share my weight lost journey.  I guess we shall see.